July 2010
1 post
“All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again....”
– Samuel Beckett
May 2010
1 post
“The more you hate them, the stronger they become.”
– Candace Bushnell
April 2010
2 posts
“We find each other - the damaged ones, our energies prickling in recognition...”
– Love Junkie by Rachel Resnick
“At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one...”
– Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
March 2010
2 posts
5 things...
Herding a lost escapee lamb back into a field
Listening to the entire first Hanson album whilst pelting down the motorway
Walkers salt n vinegar squares
Berkeley methol cigarettes. The best kind of self-harm.
Red wine from a box, with police, camera, action spin-off
I listened to his sleeping breath, and let him cling to the ache in my heart. Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears. In the end that’s all there is: love and its duty, sorrow and its truth. In the end that’s all we have - to hold on tight until the dawn.
Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
January 2010
1 post
Cost of getting tube to paddington station from wood lane… £3. Cost of getting text from beautiful man asking me out for dinner as I’m about to get on the train back to Bristol… Free. Cost of getting train back from Paddington to Wood Lane to meet beautiful man for dinner… £3. Cost of dinner and drinks at wahaca… Free. Dinner with completely out of my league wanker...
August 2009
3 posts
Sometimes I have brief moments of mentalism. In these moments I often find myself horrifically drunk yet surrounded by those who are sober. In these moments I often find myself calling a man, calling fifty men, talking at them, slurring at them, hanging up, then getting angry when they don’t call back. In these moments I’m talk very loudly. In these moments I mock people and find it...
July 2009
7 posts
I would rather have jealous sex than suffer from sex jealousy.
I’ve started swimming. I cannot understand why I didn’t think this was a good idea before. The moment I enter the water everything stops. All is calm. I love it.
Have developed accidental crush on housemate. Never ever a good plan. Went to see harry potter with him on saturday and got as close to touching him as I could without making it awkward. We’re absolute opposites and I don’t stand a chance. I just wish there was something I could do. He has the kind of cheeky grin and torso that lets you know the sex would be fucking fantastic…
...
“You know for the longest time I used to think I saw you in the street? Up until...”
– Conversations with Other Women (via sleepanddream)
June 2009
3 posts
May 2009
4 posts
“I can’t sleep, something’s all over me, greasy, insomnia, please...”
– Insomnia, Faithless
Sometimes I wonder what I could do differently, and if I did it differently, whether it would really make a difference.
Things are quite difficult at home right now. For various reasons there are frictions between people, and as much as I hate to admit it, I am partly to blame. Not entirely to blame, as some would make out, but still at fault. I admit this, honestly and truthfully, to you, but...
April 2009
11 posts
I know I should always retain the good things people say and disregard the bad things. I know that I should cherish compliments and forget insults said in anger. I know that I should let my friends build me up but never bring me down.
But come on…
Telling me that he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to sleep with me.
I feel like dirt.
Shattered.
I would never say that to...
I shoot and edit like a grape. Boom.
“Industry without art is brutality.”
– Ruskin
Nothing fixes a fight better than sitting in the sunshine making sheepish admissions over starbucks frappucinos.
http://rulesformyunbornson.tumblr.com/ →
“I will be old and lonely. Alone and old. And will think of you, years later.”
That one night
That one night when I slept in your arms, I wish I’d stayed awake.
Those two nights when we kissed, I wish I’d held you closer.
Those three nights when we held eachother, I wish they had lasted forever.
Since then I’ve been distant and lonely.
Since then we don’t touch.
Hardly speak.
You, who never chose me, chose another.
Wish I knew. Wish I knew what I could do....
“There’s a somebody I’m longing to see
I hope that he’ll
Turn...”
March 2009
12 posts
I may have a teeny tiny crush on my housemate. Even when I dress him up in a feather boa and put a ribbon in his hair.
All kinds of bad.
Why is life never easy?
“The suffer you go through
The pain that you bare
makes me wish
That I was...”
i want someone to catch me when i fall…
i fall a lot.
“It’s amazing really, the way we humans behave, the capacity we have to...”
– Mistresses
I kissed a boy and I liked it.
Shame it was my housemate. Shame he’s not interested. Shame it hurts.
God I am such a fool. Always end up in these impossible situations. Always end up wanting what I just can’t have.
What is so wrong with me?
Feel like I have a nagging ache of loneliness that surrounds my heart.
I was once told that I was so desperate to find love that it would...
“There’s nothing I’m afraid of,
I’ll show you what I’m...”
– My Time - Jade Ewen
years later
Years later - I hate that you love her more than you ever did me. That you will dance with her, go to Jackson concerts with and, and embrace life in a way which I always did but which you never did whilst by my side.
Years later - I hate that on nights like tonight, for no reason whatsoever, you appear in my mind. Yet I cannot see you. Can’t even be sure that you are alright. She ended...
I can’t believe how slow some of the processes at work tend to be. It takes hours of meetings to reach a decision everyone had already agreed upon before we started. People have no idea how easy they have it.
Nearly 5 years ago I took part in a play which went to the Edinburgh Festival. It was both a fantastic and horrific experience, from which I learnt a hell of a lot. Last night I met up...
catching up
Sorry for not posting in ages.
I started a new placement and I’ve been absolutely crazily busy settling back into London life. That is no excuse though as this is here to help me remember what I’ve done with my life, and I won’t ever remember it if I don’t record it.
So I’m back on the case.
This week I’m working on a website, writing news stories and helping...
February 2009
24 posts
i still miss the man that broke my heart without trying.
i still kiss the man that wants to stop my heart crying.
i still list a hundred things that make me hate you.
i’d still risk the world if you asked, do whatever i had to.
